You are Welcome! (to Nigeria) - Lessons I learned So Far

Sorry I missed the last couple of weeks, my Internet at home went down. I've been suffering from web withdrawal, of course you know I'm using borrowed US Govt property to write this one now. I can't keep disappointing my loyal followers, all two of them. (hint, hint damn it!!) I'll try to make sure I post every Wednesday.

So now we've left Amsterdam, about to board our KLM fight to Abuja, and you know the strangeness has started because unlike other airports, the security check is done before board the aeroplane instead of before you enter the departure lounge. Just before you go into the portable corridor to the plane is when they do the security check. There is where I learned my first lesson about the average Nigerians.

Most Nigerians do not like to line up in a single line and go orderly one by one, it's everyman for himself. They cut in front of you and think nothing of it. They don't feel any sense of wrongness about it either. If you are not filling a space then it is obviously free for anyone who can.

Once you hit corridor then the smell hits you, "the armpit aroma". It's like walking down a column of men on either side who haven't bathe for days.... with their hands in the air! The armpit aroma also permeated the aeroplane, though not as bad as the corridor. I think KLM tired to be mindful of their non-african passengers and had the plane fumigated every now and then.
The flight was long, the seat was uncomfortable, the food was passable and the people on the plane were talkative. At the end of the flight, I noticed a Nigerian man talking to one of the flight attendants, (I'm assuming he was Nigerian, he wore the clothing and had the accent), she came back later with some packages and he put them in a plastic bag that he had waiting, I finally realized that they were left over sandwiches when I saw the packaging. This was my second Lesson, Most Nigerians will ask for things that we wouldn't dream of doing or might consider inappropriate.

But if I though the corridor at the Amsterdam airport was bad, it was nothing, nothing compared to the one at The Abuja airport, not to mention the airport it self. Have you ever been in the vicinity of something that smelled so terrible that you tried to stop breathing?? Man I tried everything, I held my nose in the air, to the side, I stopped breathing, but of course you can't do that for too long. Finally I alternated between not breathing and taking one breath all the while we were surrounded by Nigerians on both sides and trying not to let them see that you think they smell like rancid, mouldy decay! (Ok that was a little strong, but you have to experience it)

I remember looking at Anthony trying to convey with my eyes what my nose was suffering, I knew he was suffering too.

The first thing the customs officer told Anthony was "You must get me a visa!" When he saw his US dip passport. Anthony laughed it off, and said "Man this is my first day here!" to which the customs officer replied , when he heard that it was our first time in Nigeria "You are welcome!". This is apparently a traditional greeting. Every where we went we heard the phrase "You are Welcome!" It's very weird to have some one say that to you when you haven't said thank you. You feel like saying, oops did I forget to thank you for something? But it is said with huge smiles and lots of warmth to all visitors. But all that led to my third lesson, It is very difficult to embarrass the average Nigerian.

It took us nearly 2 hours to claim our baggage, because when Nigerians travel, like all black people, they tend to bring home enough baggage to rival a superstar. We had an arm guard escort us to our temporary home, yes that big gun was quite intimidating, at least to me. The only place I've seen a gun like that was on television. Because we arrived at night it was difficult to see what the countryside was like. But the streets were wide and clean and Quite well made. The roads are a lot better than the ones in Barbados.


There was a lot to do and learn the first week, we had to get some basic food stuff so that meant a supermarket run. Our first time in the supermarket was an eye opener. We had been told to bring as much in terms of food stuff that we could bring but we thought it can't be that bad. We should have listened. For a couple bags of groceries we spent about $350 US. We came out of there shell shocked. We paid about $11 us for an anorexic looking chicken and about $23 For a head of broccoli. We thought we were going to make huge savings in this country, instead realized that our money will be evaporating like water in the nearby Sahara.


I have to talk about driving in Nigeria. But that requires a post of it's own! Sorry I couldn't add any pictures to this one but I will to the next one. All my photos are on my laptop and of course you are not allowed to plug any foreign objects into the embassy computers, they are not allowed to take it! he he.

So next week, Driving in Abuja or "Dear God you mean they really brought that license!!!"